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Effective Communication Strategies for Divorced Parents Regarding Child-Related Matters

mother talking to daughter

Divorce can be a challenging transition, not just for parents but also for their children. Effective communication between divorced parents is essential for the well-being and development of their children. As a Texas attorney specializing in family law, I have seen how crucial it is for parents to have a reliable and documented way of sharing important information about their children. Here, we'll explore various methods that can be used to facilitate this.

1. Email Correspondence

Email is a widely used communication tool that provides a written record of conversations. It is ideal for sharing significant updates like medical appointments, school events, or changes in the child's routine. Parents can create a specific email folder or tag to organize these communications, ensuring that they are easily accessible for future reference.

2. Co-Parenting Apps

Several apps are designed specifically for co-parenting. These applications often include features like shared calendars, expense tracking, secure messaging, and document storage. Apps like OurFamilyWizard, Coparently, and 2houses offer a centralized platform for all child-related communication, reducing the potential for misunderstandings or miscommunications.

These apps are often very useful in the event that parents need to return to Court over one or more issues as they keep all communications in one place, making it easy to gather and send documents to lawyers or the Court.

When parents use many different ways of communicating – phone calls, text messages, email, in-person notes, and so on – it can become difficult to impossible, and often very, very time-consuming and expensive, to gather and organize these documents for Court.

3. Text Messaging

For more immediate or less formal communication, text messaging can be effective. It's important, however, to maintain a respectful and clear tone. Text messages should be backed up regularly, as they might be needed for legal or mediation purposes.

4. Shared Digital Calendars

Utilizing digital calendars (like Google Calendar) allows both parents to view and update the children's schedules. Parents can input school events, doctor's appointments, extracurricular activities, and visitation schedules, providing transparency and reducing scheduling conflicts.

Further, it’s just good co-parenting for each parent to keep the other parent informed about what’s going on. Many times, as a family lawyer, I hear one parent say that they don’t think they should have to spend time keeping the other parent informed, but Judges really do respect parents, who go the extra mile in this regard, and consider this to be in the children’s best interest.

5. Legal Communication Platforms

In some cases, especially where there are concerns about harassment or legal disputes, attorneys might recommend using a court-approved communication platform. These platforms are designed to be secure and are often monitored, providing an extra layer of protection and accountability.

6. Physical Communication Logs

For parents who prefer or require a physical record, maintaining a communication log or diary can be beneficial. This method involves writing down details of conversations, decisions made, and important events related to the child. While not as convenient as digital methods, it provides a tangible record.

7. Mediated Communication

In high-conflict situations, a neutral third party, such as a mediator or parenting coordinator, can facilitate communication. This method ensures that the conversation remains focused on the child's best interests and helps in resolving disputes constructively.

8. Parenting Plans and Agreements

Creating a detailed parenting plan can preempt many communication issues. This plan should outline how and when parents will share information about their children. It can be included as part of the divorce decree or as a separate agreement. By having a plan in the Court Order, both parents know what to expect and how to communicate, often avoiding misunderstandings that can lead to further Court intervention or difficulties for the children.


Effective communication between divorced parents is pivotal for the emotional and psychological well-being of their children. By utilizing one or a combination of these methods, parents can ensure that they remain informed about their child’s life and co-parent more effectively. Always remember that the chosen method of communication should prioritize the child’s best interests and foster a respectful co-parenting relationship.

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