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Avoid These Common Divorce Mistakes


Coker, Robb & Cannon, Family Lawyers understands that divorce is a trying time for everyone involved. Sometimes we as parents and/or spouses say words that we know mean nothing, but can be misinterpreted by another person, including your children. Divorce matters can be such sensitive issues. There are countless decisions to make and with so much at stake, the wrong move can make the entire process go haywire.

We offer our years of insight handling divorce cases. We have witnessed many people make similar mistakes, and so we want to help you start off on the right foot.

Don’t tear down your ex in front of your children.

Put-downs, bad-mouthing, and critical remarks paint a poor picture of one’s attitude—even if you believe your opinions are justified. Children internalize what you say, and this has been known to foster feelings of guilt, confusion, and insecurity. Sometimes, children might even take the blame for the issues and begin believing that they are the reason a rift has occurred between you and your spouse. We know how difficult it may be to hold back, especially if you have an especially rocky relationship but do not allow the negative emotions have an effect on your children.

Always keep your children in the loop.

Take the time to be candid with your children about the separation. Involve your spouse as much as possible in these talks, as well. Children will have questions about what their lives will be like after divorce, where they will live, how often they will see you and your ex. At the same time, they will also wonder about your well-being as well.

Reign in on emotional outbursts and take the high road.

It is easy to get into heated arguments at this time. While some divorces are over and done in a matter of a few months, some can drag on for several years because neither side can come to a compromise. We have seen some clients argue on a matter that means little to them—they are merely arguing because one side refuses to budge. We strongly advise you to avoid getting too heavily wrapped up in an argument; otherwise, it can be too difficult to reach an outcome. At that point, the relationship will have eroded so much from the arguments that it can be damaging to the relationship moving forward.

Plan for life after divorce.

You may be surprised to know that some people spend little time planning for their lives after divorce. We know that the process in and of itself is an enormous investment of time, money, and resources, but you have to think about how you plan to live. You may need to restructure your schedule or adjust your income versus your expenses. Will you have to purchase or rent out your own place to live? Utilities? Bills? Think about the numbers and try to work out a budget that is comfortable but needs your basic needs. We suggest talking with a financial counselor about how best to manage your money, and to consider whether some debt relief options are available to you, if necessary.

Consider another alternative than divorce court.

Mediation is a highly useful and efficient alternative. Many couples do not realize they have this option available to them. Mediation can help you skip court, avoid the cost, and lengthy judgments, and allow you to have a meaningful conversation with your ex about how you would like matters to be handled. All of the matters are settled under your terms—not by the judge’s decision or some other rigid divorce law. A mediator is also your chance to have a neutral third party present to help facilitate the conversation and usher the matter to an amicable close.

Should you have any questions about the issues above and how they relate to your particular divorce case, do not hesitate to contact our legal team at Coker, Robb & Cannon, Family Lawyers. We serve Denton, Collin County, and the surrounding communities of Texas.

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