How Divorce Affects Your Children
One of the most disheartening experiences as a parent you may possibly face is informing your kids about your imminent divorce. With a subject matter as substantial as divorce, it’s important to understand that this type of news can immensely impact your children’s lives forever. That is why you must take careful consideration when talking to your kids about it.
How you present impactful and important information to your children can make a significant difference in your children’s response to the news. If you have strong, hateful feelings towards your soon-to-be-ex spouse, you must understand that they will forever be a part of their children’s lives. It’s best to put your disparities aside and work together in order to reveal the news to your kids.
Prior to telling your kids for the first time about your divorce, you should do the following:
- Meet with a family or child therapist with your spouse to determine the best way to break the news
- Formulate a script for the conversation with your kids
- Choose a time and place which doesn’t conflict with an important date or activity, such as a child’s birthday or before a big game or test.
What you should do during your discussion includes:
- Try to be as honest and rational as possible, depending on the age of the children.
- Highlight the importance of having two people who love and care deeply about them for the remainder of their lives.
- Inform them that it is not their fault that you and your spouse are ending the marriage.
- Discuss how things are going to remain and how things are going to change.
- Don’t discuss who is to blame for the divorce. Instead make it appear that is was a joint decision.
- Expect a range of emotions from your children, whether it’s sad tears or bouts of rage. Do your best to comfort them.
Once the discussion is over, anticipate the following:
- Expect more questions from your children. Please be as honest as possible and also consider the feelings and perception of the other spouse (even though it might be difficult to do, it’s the best for the children).
- Be there for your children whenever they feel lost, sad, angry, and uncomfortable about the situation. Above all, your children are first.
For more information, contact our Denton or Frisco divorce attorney at Coker, Robb & Cannon, Family Lawyers today.