One of the most disheartening experiences as a parent you may possibly
face is informing your kids about your imminent divorce. With a subject
matter as substantial as divorce, it’s important to understand that
this type of news can immensely impact your children’s lives forever.
That is why you must take careful consideration when talking to your kids about it.
How you present impactful and important information to your children can
make a significant difference in your children’s response to the
news. If you have strong, hateful feelings towards your soon-to-be-ex
spouse, you must understand that they will forever be a part of their
children’s lives. It’s best to put your disparities aside
and work together in order to reveal the news to your kids.
Prior to telling your kids for the first time about your divorce, you should
do the following:
- Meet with a family or child therapist with your spouse to determine the
best way to break the news
- Formulate a script for the conversation with your kids
- Choose a time and place which doesn’t conflict with an important
date or activity, such as a child’s birthday or before a big game or test.
What you should do
during your discussion includes:
- Try to be as honest and rational as possible, depending on the age of the children.
- Highlight the importance of having two people who love and care deeply
about them for the remainder of their lives.
- Inform them that it is not their fault that you and your spouse are ending
- Discuss how things are going to remain and how things are going to change.
- Don’t discuss who is to blame for the divorce. Instead make it appear
that is was a joint decision.
- Expect a range of emotions from your children, whether it’s sad tears
or bouts of rage. Do your best to comfort them.
Once the discussion is over, anticipate the following:
- Expect more questions from your children. Please be as honest as possible
and also consider the feelings and perception of the other spouse (even
though it might be difficult to do, it’s the best for the children).
- Be there for your children whenever they feel lost, sad, angry, and uncomfortable
about the situation. Above all, your children are first.
For more information, contact our Denton or
Frisco divorce attorney at CokerLegal today.