If you are going through a divorce, then you know that there will be many
difficult conversations up along the way. Many couples decide to go through
a divorce because they can no longer communicate with their spouse civilly.
Yet, many attorneys still encourage spouses to speak with their ex, to
encourage a better co-parenting relationship and attain a better understanding
of their particular wants and wishes at this time.
For the most part, you can rely on your attorney to take care of a variety
of situations for you, and that includes speaking on your behalf when
it comes to engaging in the difficult conversations. Unfortunately, you
will encounter many of these conversations along the way, and we encourage
patient, open, honest communication because we know that it is meant to
benefit you in the long run.
Some of Our Tips
It can be daunting to think about having awkward conversations about your
divorce. You have to do it with confidence and strength, as not only will
you need to speak with your spouse, but also with your children. It is
certainly a skill to learn how to speak with people, no matter their age.
There are many things we know our loved ones do not want to hear, and
maybe we avoid the conversations because we wish not to cause a rift or
add more conflict to an already heated situation.
Below, we offer some tips to help you discuss those difficult conversations
in a divorce.
Focus on the bigger picture.
There are many elements to argue about in your divorce. While you should
be taking the time to smooth over larger issues, don’t throw in
the towel or go along with something with which you do not agree. Make
decisions based on what you think will provide the most benefits in the long run.
Difficult conversations become harder when you hide your feelings or try
to put on a brave face, knowing that does little resolve any issues. Being
open about how you feel only helps your case to progress.
Be clear about your intentions.
Anytime you are settling your divorce case your intentions must be true.
Do not take conversations as the time to bring up ancient history, rehash
an old argument, or try to implement some hidden agenda. Again, this a
return to the element of remaining completely honest, not the time to
scheme or manipulate the direction of your divorce case.
Have realistic expectations.
Some spouses use their divorce as a chance to create new opportunities
for themselves. It is good to have expectations that you have a blank
slate on which to build a new future. However, don’t think that
your divorce will provide you with sumptuous spousal support payments
and other perks. Your spouse may not always agree with the terms, either,
so be fair and be realistic about what you hope to achieve.
Is it the right time?
Sometimes a conversation runs smoother if you catch the person at just
the right time. Make sure you have set aside a time where you and your
spouse can speak one-on-one, at a time or location where you can both
give one another the attention that the matter deserves.
Get Answers to Your Divorce Questions!
As always, if you have any questions about the divorce process and what
you can do to help yourself, please do not hesitate to discuss your case
further with CokerLegal. We listen to our clients’ needs by offering
attentive, personalized legal counsel. We are committed to helping you
find the resolution you need to move forward with life after divorce.
We have over 70 years of combined experience and offer free initial consultations.
Be sure to schedule your appointment with us today!