CokerLegal understands that divorce is a trying time for everyone involved.
Sometimes we as parents and/or spouses say words that we know mean nothing,
but can be misinterpreted by another person, including your children.
Divorce matters can be such sensitive issues. There are countless decisions
to make and with so much at stake, the wrong move can make the entire
process go haywire.
We offer our years of insight handling divorce cases. We have witnessed
many people make similar mistakes, and so we want to help you start off
on the right foot.
Don’t tear down your ex in front of your children.
Put-downs, bad-mouthing, and critical remarks paint a poor picture of one’s
attitude—even if you believe your opinions are justified. Children
internalize what you say, and this has been known to foster feelings of
guilt, confusion, and insecurity. Sometimes, children might even take
the blame for the issues and begin believing that they are the reason
a rift has occurred between you and your spouse. We know how difficult
it may be to hold back, especially if you have an especially rocky relationship
but do not allow the negative emotions have an effect on your children.
Always keep your children in the loop.
Take the time to be candid with your children about the separation. Involve
your spouse as much as possible in these talks, as well. Children will
have questions about what their lives will be like after divorce, where
they will live, how often they will see you and your ex. At the same time,
they will also wonder about your well-being as well.
Reign in on emotional outbursts and take the high road.
It is easy to get into heated arguments at this time. While some divorces
are over and done in a matter of a few months, some can drag on for several
years because neither side can come to a compromise. We have seen some
clients argue on a matter that means little to them—they are merely
arguing because one side refuses to budge. We strongly advise you to avoid
getting too heavily wrapped up in an argument; otherwise, it can be too
difficult to reach an outcome. At that point, the relationship will have
eroded so much from the arguments that it can be damaging to the relationship
Plan for life after divorce.
You may be surprised to know that some people spend little time planning
for their lives after divorce. We know that the process in and of itself
is an enormous investment of time, money, and resources, but you have
to think about how you plan to live. You may need to restructure your
schedule or adjust your income versus your expenses. Will you have to
purchase or rent out your own place to live? Utilities? Bills? Think about
the numbers and try to work out a budget that is comfortable but needs
your basic needs. We suggest talking with a financial counselor about
how best to manage your money, and to consider whether some debt relief
options are available to you, if necessary.
Consider another alternative than divorce court.
Mediation is a highly useful and efficient alternative. Many couples do
not realize they have this option available to them. Mediation can help
you skip court, avoid the cost, and lengthy judgments, and allow you to
have a meaningful conversation with your ex about how you would like matters
to be handled. All of the matters are settled under your terms—not
by the judge’s decision or some other rigid divorce law. A mediator
is also your chance to have a neutral third party present to help facilitate
the conversation and usher the matter to an amicable close.
Should you have any questions about the issues above and how they relate
to your particular divorce case, do not hesitate to contact our legal
team at CokerLegal. We serve Denton, Collin County, and the surrounding
communities of Texas.